Or at least this one isn’t.
In fact, this big brother, is pretty much a star.
He always knows how to cheer up his little brother.
If Max is starting to cry about something, he instantly tells me why.
He’ll run into the room from wherever he’s been and say “It’s ok Mummy, I know what to do!” and will proceed to do his ninja moves with sound effects that make Max laugh, or start chasing him, or even giving his little brother the last few crisps he has left, just so he’s happy.
He’ll make sure to give Max a Wii controller with no batteries in it, so that when he’s playing whatever he’s playing, Max will feel like he’s getting to play too.
Yeah… this big brother is definitely one we like having around.
Max *adores* his big brother. If he wakes first in the morning, he instantly goes to wake up Zack so he’s not on his own.
He looks around for him when he realises his big brother has left the room without him seeing.
He calls him “Ack”, or “Dack”. Sometimes.
He’ll even tolerate hugs from his big brother – something he’s not prone to letting any other kids do.
Sometimes I worry about what pressures are being put on Zack, being the Big Brother.
I remind him often that he has to be a good boy because Max wants to be just like his big brother, and so I need Zack to show him how to be good. I think most parents explain this to older siblings once they’re of an age they’re expected to behave. Well, as much as they can at least!
The thing is, Zack has to put up with a lot more than if his sibling wasn’t on the spectrum.
If Max is about to have a meltdown, Zack will give him whatever it is he wants, just so that he doesn’t have to hear the screaming.
He’ll go from being sleepy and almost ready to sleep, to jumping about all silly to cheer up his little brother who finds it difficult to sleep, even though it makes it worse in the long run for them both to get to sleep. He really does mean well. Most of the time!
Sometimes the two of us just look at each other and roll our eyes when Max has a tantrum about not getting his own way *yet* again.
As far as big brothers go, I think Max got a gold medalist for his.