Guilty Pleasures

Funny how the things that can really get you going are the ones that are bad for you.
Chocolate is a perfect example. I could gorge myself on the stuff, but it’s not good for me. Luckily I have come up with the (im)perfect substitute. Cigarettes.
Fuck, wait… that’s bad for me too right?

OK, so what if I swapped that for coffee? No… still caffeine in that, also not good for me (supposedly). Oooh I know I know! Alcohol! Although the lack of motor skills while inebriated isn’t so good either huh?

What about blogging? If I was to write a blog post every time I wanted a chocolate/cigarette/drink. Nah, then you guys would hate me and I’d be one of those posts-30-times-a-day people that drives me crazy. Plus when the hell would I have the time to live if I was glued to my computer all day?

Maybe I should just have chewing gum. Then again, that usually makes me more hungry, and then I don’t feel so good.

Nope, I think the cigarettes-for-chocolate is here to stay. Since starting up again I’ve now lost 21lbs. Considering the other way I could have gone at the time of starting smoking (comfort eating and putting *on* 21lbs or more), I think I’ve made the right choice for me. Albeit not the healthy one, but it beats being morbidly obese, and is apparently less likely to cut my life expectancy in comparison to being so overweight. Oh, I didn’t tell you that huh? Yeah… at the start of the summer I was 18 stone. That’s 252lbs, or 114.5kg. THAT is not good for anyone, especially a 5 foot 6 single mother of two young children.

If I’ve lost 21lbs in 4 months, that’s a good thing, even if it is because I’m filling my lungs with smoke. If I can keep going then maybe one day I will feel like a normal weight. I know that just losing that amount has given me more energy.

Looks like my Marlboros are here to stay. For the time being at least.

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  1. November 10, 2009 / 7:34 am

    That’s so great! I think you can be really proud. 😀

    Losing weight is sooo hard (at least it is for me ;)) – and quitting smoking even the more, I guess, so you shouldn’t aim for the two things at one time. Just follow your path, I feel like you are definitely on the right track. 😉

    You know what, I was just about to make a blog post of my own about my weight gain during the last years. It is so encouraging to see you are struggling too, but are successful. Thanks!
    .-= Jarla´s last blog ..“ rel=”nofollow”>My baby is… =-.

  2. November 10, 2009 / 4:05 pm

    I’m getting there – it’s a long haul as I have so much to lose, but I’m not going to give up!
    We can do it (yes we can!) 😉

  3. Sonvar
    November 12, 2009 / 9:27 pm

    It’s hard to say which is better overall. I keep thinking when reading this that the end doesn’t justify the means. Which is that while I think it’s good losing weight the means going about it isn’t good. Most smokers who do quit end up gaining weight shortly afterwards which can lead some to continue doing so. The issue ends up being that losing weight by smoking robs you of energy that other means can get you there. Keep smoking if you do need something but don’t rely on the smoking itself to give you energy. I’d say do a daily walk with the kids. It’s get you out and potentially allows you to socialize with people in the area. Not to mention if you bring your camera you might find something inspiring to talk pictures of.

  4. November 12, 2009 / 11:56 pm

    Oh I know the smoking doesn’t give me energy, and I do go out walking with the kids most days – it’s just that this time of year isn’t so good for going out in. :S

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