My Lil’ Max

Lots of things have been happening for Max recently.

He’s discovered a love of the paddling pool. He won’t go in it, but loves to throw balls and cups full of water around onto the deck so he can run through the water with bare feet.

He has realised that he can get into our ‘snacks’ cupboard in the kitchen and help himself. Which has led to a reorganisation of where all our food is kept.

He’s saying new words. “One, Two, Three, GO!” is now said almost perfectly. I even heard him saying it in his cot in the morning the other day. He’ll say “pizza” whenever we’re near the oven.

He said “ta” the other day when I gave him a pancake!

He’s 2 years and 7 months old now.

He has a tantrum whenever we don’t do exactly what he wants, and some times for no reason I can fathom. Though there must be a reason, there’s always a reason!


Max has been on the waiting list for a few things since his appointment with the head paediatric doctor for development back in January.

Over the last month things have finally started to get going.

We have one lady, Barbara, who is part of the Preschool Home Visiting Early Years base. She is there to study/interact with him to find out how he is in general, day to day life. She is his ‘advocate’ when it comes to starting nursery. She’ll be there at any meetings needed to discuss Max’s need for an IEP (independent education plan) when he starts at nursery.

There’s also Max’s Speech Therapist (ST) Nikki, who’s been helping us with trying to get his language going a little more since November. I feel like he’s coming on really well, although there is still a long road ahead of us.

Last but not least there’s Marie from Parent-to-Parent. She’s here to help me out. She’ll fill in DLA forms for me to ensure we get what we need to ensure I can take Max to things that otherwise would be outwith our budget, so that he can experience as much as he can. It’ll also help to pay for transport for the various appointments he’ll have in Perth, which is a 40 min bus ride away and includes switching buses. Marie is a sweetheart. She has a disabled daughter herself (who’s now in her late teens) and so knows how stressful life can be with a child who is different from the rest. Marie is my ‘advocate’ so to speak.

All these women speak to each other and will also be in touch with the main assessors for Max’s autism assessment which is due on June 1st.


At the moment all the signs point to Max having ASD (autistic spectrum disorder).

I keep thinking that maybe it’s not actually ASD, but a combination of language and sensory problems. At the end of the day, either way he needs more help than I can give him on my own, so I need help to make sure he’s getting the best out of life he can, as I’m not entirely sure what I’m doing sometimes.

Sometimes I look back to when Zack was Max’s age, and I can’t help but think “why couldn’t you be the same?”. He tries to talk, but none of us can understand what he’s saying. I just want my baby boy to call me Mamma. There’s nothing wrong with wanting that so badly is there? I just want him to have as normal a life as possible.

I’m scared that he’ll forever find the world hard to deal with. That I can’t give him what he needs. That I’m not strong enough myself to do what needs to be done.

Sometimes I just feel so sad, seeing my lil man sitting at the kitchen table emptying and re-filling the same box full of bottle caps (his latest favourite ‘toy’) over and over and over again.

All I can do is stay strong for him and carry on reading his signals and what he needs from me.

And I will do that.

I will do everything I can to make sure Max has the best life he can possibly have.

Because that’s what we mums do, isn’t it?

Because I love him.

Because I will always love him.

Because he’s my lil Max.

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  1. May 13, 2010 / 1:16 pm

    My little fella is the exact same age as Max, 2 years 7 months. He was diagnosed with autism at 23 months and in the 8 months since then is making the most incredible progress, so much more than I ever dreamed of. He calls me Mama all the time and it is my favourite word, no it isn’t too much for you to ask Sweetheart.

    I completely understand where you are and remember this very confusing time so well, it is so recent for us. Just know that you will cope because he is your lil Max and believe me when I say this time next year, regardless of what the name of his difficulties are, you will look back in amazement at how much he has progressed with the correct intervention.

    I will celebrate with you because I know your little boy can glow with happiness, just as mine does. Massive massive hug of support and friendship to you. Jen.
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..“ rel=”nofollow”>Making your own fun. =-.

  2. May 13, 2010 / 1:30 pm

    You have me in tears reading this. Thank you. THANK YOU so much for your support. Having you around really does lift me up hearing how well HRH is doing!
    Thank you Jen. xx

  3. May 13, 2010 / 1:37 pm

    i totally understand. i am thinking about getting my 3y/o reassessed for ASD. i also love the helpers that we have that come and teach us how to make the world better for my boys. both boys had the same team. well one therapist had to change but she found someone when she and druid had a personality conflict, and that is a good person to recognize that.
    monday we make a IFSP Indivdual Family Service Plan. you have many friends around the world that would be there for You in a second if they could. please post to the sensory nanny group again so we can stay in touch. MD

  4. May 13, 2010 / 2:25 pm

    Thanks sweety, it helps having so many people to talk to about it all! What’s the sensory nanny group? (/confuzzled!). Will definitely see you around! x

  5. May 13, 2010 / 6:12 pm

    I’m amazed at how much you’ve got in place. I remember years ago being harangued by educators over my son’s “ADHD”, his non-existent ADHD I hasten to add. When I tried to access psych support to prove them wrong… well I’m still waiting 7 years on… so well done you 🙂
    .-= MrsW´s last blog ..“ rel=”nofollow”>The Gallery #11: Let’s hear it for the boys =-.

  6. May 13, 2010 / 6:22 pm

    The fact that you’ve come this far, and got so much in place, proves that you are strong enough and most definitely capable enough to cope with anything that happens with your lil Max.

    You are doing incredibly and you have lots of friends here ready to support and help in any way they can.

    I don’t think that any of the things that you want for Max or yourself are unreasonable, they are the things that every mother wants.

    Big hugs.
    .-= Barbara´s last blog ..“ rel=”nofollow”>The Gallery: Men =-.

  7. May 13, 2010 / 8:22 pm

    Marylin, sweetie, I agree with Barbara, you are already doing more than you realize and I know you will continue to be there for him and do what needs to be done. As mothers, we just pretty much make things up as we go along, riding the wave of parenthood to wherever it takes us. I think everything you’re feeling is completely normal. Big hugs to you. xo
    .-= Kristin´s last blog ..“ rel=”nofollow”>Raw and uncensored =-.

  8. May 13, 2010 / 8:53 pm

    Thanks sweety. I think things have come on leaps and bounds with this sort of thing, thank goodness!

  9. May 13, 2010 / 8:54 pm

    I hope so… I suppose only time will tell eh? Thanks sweety xx

  10. May 13, 2010 / 8:58 pm

    Thank you Kristin. I’m sure you’re right. We just keep going cause there isn’t any other way is there! *hugs*

  11. May 14, 2010 / 7:07 am

    I hope you get the answers you need quickly, and the support too. At times like this, we think we aren’t strong enough, but afterwards, we learn how strong we actually are. So here’s to you discovering a strength you don’t yet know you have:)
    .-= Hear Mum Roar´s last blog ..“ rel=”nofollow”>What can you do if your child has a public tantrum? =-.

  12. May 14, 2010 / 9:51 am

    Here’s to that indeed! Thanks 🙂 x

  13. May 14, 2010 / 10:11 am

    oh honey, I don’t know what to say. You are an awesome mum, don’t you ever forget that. Loads of hugs.xoxoxo
    .-= Brenda´s last blog ..Happy FlogYoBlogFriday #11 and Happy Bloggers Without Makeup Day. Hurrah! =-.

  14. May 14, 2010 / 10:29 am

    Thanks darlin. 🙂 xx

  15. July 6, 2010 / 3:21 pm

    […] and Marie (our parent to parent helper – she is AWESOME) took him along to the ward. I stayed outside with my dad. I heard him screaming […]

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