Oh you’ll have someone else by then!

That’s something I hear a lot of when I talk about my boys growing up, becoming teenagers and thinking that I’ll most likely have to handle that on my own.

You know what though? I don’t agree. I am liking living on my own. I can do what I like (to a certain extent!) and I don’t have to check that it’s ok with anyone. I LIKE it being just me and my boys, and not having to share the remote, or bandwidth, or think of when I want to spend an evening on the computer, or watching Twilight.

I just feel like I don’t want to put myself in a position ever again where I have to change who I am to be there. I guess I’m going to be a LOT more picky now. Unfortunately I’ve not exactly got much choice (if any!) when it comes to who I could or couldn’t choose. So for now, I’m not going to expect to be with anyone.

Besides, I need to be able to be on my own and be happy this way before I let anyone totally into my life again. Not to mention they’re gonna have to really prove I can trust them first. That’s gonna be a BIG step.

Only time will tell I guess, but at the rate I’m (not) meeting people or making friends, I could see me being on my own for quite a long time…

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3 Comments

  1. November 17, 2009 / 1:47 pm

    Aww hun, sorry to hear this, but you will come through the other side stronger than you ever even thought you could be! x

  2. Sonvar
    November 17, 2009 / 1:53 pm

    You have a right to be picky as whoever you would be with would be not just getting you but would be getting your boys too. Time will tell when and if it will happen but don’t sell yourself and your kids short simply because you feel you need to have someone.

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