Really SEE The World Around You

beautiful boy 106/365

Most, if not all of you reading this, will know that my baby boy, Max, has autism. Well, I say baby… he’s three years, seven months, and two days old now, so not really much of a baby – more like an insanely cute toddler! Technically he’s a preschooler, but he’s still, in essence, at the toddler stage.

You know, the age where he’s soaking up almost everything he sees? Where he still doesn’t understand why he shouldn’t do something, but will (most of the time) listen to me if I tell him to wait/stop/come give mummy cuddles.

The thing is, before I became aware of Max’s autism, I didn’t know a damn thing about it.

I knew that it was to do with behavioural issues, and that was about it.

In only a year I’ve learned more than I possibly could have, had I not had Max here to show me the way.

I was your typical parent who would avert my eyes to a child having a major meltdown in the supermarket.

It didn’t concern me, I was blissfully ignorant to what was really going on there, and in so many other situations that I just put down to bad parenting.

I was judgemental, impatient, and took everything Zack did for granted.

Just like those who don’t have a child with delays, or special needs, I had no need to really *see* what was going on.

Now though. NOW I see the whole world differently.

I see a 13 month old starting to shape her words, and am delighted and so heart-warmed to see how wonderfully she’s doing. Her mum looks at me slightly bemused as I comment on what a wonderful speaker she’s turning into!

I see a 4 year old who’ll go on the Big Swings and do it “BY MYSELF MUMMY”, and am just filled with happiness to see the independence of another little soul growing up in our world.

I see the Primary 7’s at lunch time, all chatting and being sarcastic to each other, and using their language more eloquently than I’m sure I did when I was that age!

And I just revel in the sparkly awesomeness of it all!

EVERY tiny little thing our children accomplish is amazing!

Your child has finally mastered the potty at nearly four… “that’s so late” you say, “but he got it eventually”. WELL DONE! He’s on his way to independence! You’re doing a GREAT job!!

That 5 year old who’s struggling with their reading? It will come! Look at her! She’s so sure of herself, of her own decisions, and how they may affect others. Look at the compassion she has for others if they get upset! She is beautiful! The reading will come as she realises more about the world, it will open up for her!

The wee lad who’s splashing in puddles as his mum drags him away, telling him off… do you know, Max has only just dared go near a puddle a couple of months ago? So yes, his wee feet might get a bit wet, but he’s ENJOYING it! It makes him giggle! This is a HUGE step! Like… I can’t even put into words how *HUGE* this is, considering he wouldn’t even leave the house without screaming in terror the whole time if it was raining!

I guess the thing is, I’ve learned to be the person I am, the person I’ve always wanted to be, by being a mum.

Not *just* a mum though.

A mum to a scarily intelligent nearly-6-year-old and an adorably beautiful 3.5 year old who has autism.

Having a child with special needs has totally changed my outlook on the world, on everyone around me.

I’m no longer that prejudiced person who secretly looks down her nose at those who “can’t control their children”.

I see, I mean I really SEE the worried looks on my fellow mamabears, when their little one doesn’t seem to pay attention to anything around them.

I feel the sadness of the little ones who’s parents just tell them to be quiet and are talked over all the time.

I SEE how amazing every single child, every single person in this world, really is.

You are ALL amazing!

You are ALL different!

You are all completely and utterly uniquely YOU!

Celebrate it!

Celebrate the flaws and the imperfections that make you, YOU!

Never look down on anyone.

You have no right to do that.

We are ALL part of this beautiful place we call Earth, and we’re all connected by being human. By our compassion, and our empathy towards others, by our struggles and our triumphs.

So open up your eyes!

Don’t use the blinkers that are so much easier have on than off.

Let yourself SEE and FEEL all the magic around you!

I can guarantee, you will be filled with awe!

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  1. May 13, 2011 / 4:20 pm

    That is lovely and I am with you all the way. Great picture of Max there too.

  2. Oh Mammy
    May 13, 2011 / 4:39 pm

    So true Marylin. Excellent post. X

  3. Sharon
    May 13, 2011 / 5:15 pm

    Such a gorgeous pic of your boy and such a beautiful post. Reminds me to appreciate my child and what he achieves.

  4. May 13, 2011 / 10:48 pm

    Brilliantly put; all so true. Nice to see a positive post at the same time as my happy news 🙂

  5. May 14, 2011 / 9:22 am

    Ohh I’d just about bloody stopped crying, don’t set me off again!! Evil, evil lady. *hug*

  6. May 14, 2011 / 4:36 pm

    Thanks so much Ali! I don’t ever seem to be able to get a photo of him without food on his face! LOL 🙂 xx

  7. May 14, 2011 / 4:36 pm

    Thanks honey! How are you? xx

  8. May 14, 2011 / 4:37 pm

    Thanks Sharon! I’m glad you liked reading it. 🙂 xxx

  9. May 14, 2011 / 4:38 pm

    Indeed! I’m SOOOO chuffed for you honey! I have no idea how or when I’ll be able to potty train Max. >_< xxx

  10. May 14, 2011 / 4:38 pm

    Hehe awww sorryyyy! MWAH! xxx

  11. May 15, 2011 / 1:08 pm

    As promised…..With a few name changes… 😉
    Marylin, this is a beautiful post that made me cry, in a good way though. You are a lovely person, I have lived with autism my whole life and been on the receiving end of much hurt. The world seems a lot more accepting now. But my poor …Dad never understood why he couldn’t fit and is very misunderstood by many people. You are just the sort of person I know would make him feel comfortable to be around. My son is now 17 and I didn’t have a clue about him until my *CAL was going through assessments and I realised that what they were pointing out was also me and *AJ too. I never knew Autism I knew my family as individuals and we found ways to help one another. I hate leaving comments on fb, but I have tried every way I can to get onto your blog but it just keeps saying the link is broken. When I do get on I’ll move my comment there, I don’t know if you are the same as me but I prefer my comments on my blog or I forget about them. I have a terrible memory for things like that. Love and hugs. Lisa. xx 🙂

  12. May 15, 2011 / 3:55 pm

    You are so right and I have always tried to ensure that I NEVER judge other peoples parenting. I find looking after my headstrong boys so hard at times. My boys are often the ones that make the noise, the ones that people stare at and think “thank god they are not mine”, I am the one who thinks there for the grace of god go I.

  13. May 15, 2011 / 8:34 pm

    Your comment made me cry… twice! Once on fb and once here! *hugs* and love xxx

  14. May 15, 2011 / 8:35 pm

    It’s hard when they’re so darned clever isn’t it? I have the same problem with Zack, too! *hugs* xxxxx

  15. May 16, 2011 / 7:35 am

    I love you. You’re amazing.

  16. May 16, 2011 / 9:51 am

    Awwww *hugs* I love you too honey! MWAH! xxx

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