Something will turn up…

That was something TF used to say a lot. Whenever I was worried about something (finances usually) that was his response… “something will turn up”. Not “lets get some plans together for what we can do to fix this”, just… “something will turn up”.

It drove me mad, that attitude. No drive to do anything, he just expected life to hand him things on a plate. Something my parents did for us too many times for me to care to mention. I guess maybe he expected it from them. I hated having to ask for their help, but I didn’t have a choice.

So here’s my take on it. Nothing will happen in your life until you MAKE it happen. If you want to be a photographer for a living, you have to WORK at it. If you want to learn computing – you’d better put the effort into it. If you want to be the Best Mum In The World, then get off your backside, away from the computer and damn well DO it.

No one else can make things happen in your life but you. By the same token, when something out of your control happens in your life, it’s up to YOU to react to it in the way you want.

The split, for example. I could have burned all his clothes, thrown out all his books and generally been a vengeful bitch. A lot of my friends were egging me on to do so, but I chose not to. Why would I want to waste any more energy on someone that thought nothing of me? Why should I bother? I would rather concentrate on ME and MY children, and that’s what I did. Yes the situation sucked, but because I looked at the positives as much as possible, it made moving forward that much easier.

So let me ask you, is there something in your life that you really want to change? Cause if there is, only YOU can make it happen. No one else, it’s down to you. So go DO it!

*****

This post was inspired by Rachael from Antithete.com. Hope you don’t mind me pinching your idea! x

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12 Comments

  1. November 6, 2009 / 9:43 pm

    I believe you are right in that, and I also think that no matter what you have going on in your life, you always have a choice. I have experience with junkies and alcoholics in the family, neither can help themselves until they choose to. I know they have problems and lack the mental capacity of “normal” people but at the same time I know that there have been plenty of people to help them along the way, but they don’t want to get better themselves.

    It took a while but for a period I kept blaming the lack of work I was getting as a photographer on external factors before realising I just had to get out there and work like crazy, even if it was for free for nearly 2 years! I think placing too much dependence on others is also a bad idea because if they don’t work out (like my ex biz partner) then you are left with nothing.

    It’s part of the reason why I don’t appreciate people hanging on either – I get folk asking to come to the next “proper” fashion shoot I’m doing, and I say no because they just want to tag along and take the credit, but I feel I’ve worked hard for it on my own so they should do or they won’t learn!

    Good post, totally true 🙂
    .-= Kirsty´s last blog ..https://www.kirstylegg.co.uk/news11738.html“ rel=”nofollow”>Looking for Models =-.

  2. November 6, 2009 / 9:52 pm

    Perfect post.

    For me it was Midwifery , something i dreamed about for years . I kept thinking i could not do it, it was not me and people would just laugh.
    I finally realised that the only thing holding me back was me , why should i not pursue my dream ? So now i am doing my access course and have my application to university ready. I am ready to change my life and make my kids proud of me.

    Oh Craig is terrible for the same attitude , we are in the shit with money just now . Getting taken to court over numerous things and his attitude is just don’t worry things will work out . Seriously the mortgage has not been paid in almost 6 months but it is no big deal? . I am doing all i can , taken on a babysitting job and trying to find a part time job that would suit hours i can get a babysitter for but it is impossible . He seems so blase over it.
    .-= Laura McIntyre´s last blog ..https://feedproxy.google.com/~r/synchronizationofus/mhzd/~3/mJEshfk3F30/“ rel=”nofollow”>Shattered =-.

  3. November 6, 2009 / 10:09 pm

    Thanks hun!
    I would love to tag along to a shoot of yours, just to see what you do though – not to take credit! hehe
    If you ever manage to come over for a visit sometime we should take the kids to the park and doss about with our cameras… as well as the kidlets. 😉

  4. November 6, 2009 / 10:11 pm

    Oh hun, that really sucks, I hate it when they’re so unmotivated to do anything about money problems. It really sucks!

  5. November 6, 2009 / 10:57 pm

    Yeah totally! I don’t have a problem when people ask nicely, but there are some real amateurs out there who don’t ask “can I come and chat with you for tips or can you help me out with a model test shoot” its always “can you organise everything with shops and hotels, make-up, models and hair and I’ll just come along and take some of my own shots with no other involvement on my part!” It really gets to me because usually bridal and fashion shoots for clothes shops take a lot of organising! >_< If I could figure out how to sort it out myself then they need to get that learning experience too!

    I'd love to come for a visit, can't believe the timing for the cold though! Bah, I want to drive so badly!! 🙁
    .-= Kirsty´s last blog ..https://www.kirstylegg.co.uk/news11738.html“ rel=”nofollow”>Looking for Models =-.

  6. Kris (Everain)
    November 7, 2009 / 12:10 am

    I believe nothing turns up for us! What was he expecting to turn up a lotto win?! :O Argh people like that make me mad! They just coast through life without ambition etc! It drivers me mental with people at work, I don’t know how they can just do the same job at their level for 20years?! I mean come one have some ambition please!

    lol rant over 😛

    Great post! 😀
    .-= Kris (Everain)´s last blog ..I must be getting old. . . =-.

  7. November 7, 2009 / 12:43 am

    Good point. I’ve been wondering about the lack of work recently and I’ve had a similar problem in thinking it was just my situation. The fact is, nobody knows that I’m doing web development professionally. So, I’m really kicking my butt nowadays (and hopefully it’ll work, as I’m sure it will. :D)

    It’s a hard, steep, hill… but I’ll get up it eventually. 🙂
    .-= Craig´s last blog ..Action =-.

  8. November 7, 2009 / 1:54 pm

    Yes you will, and I’m starting to get there with my blogging, slowly but surely. I think! 🙂

  9. November 16, 2009 / 10:35 pm

    Ah for some reason this comment got stuck in spam!

    I don’t know how some people can be so rude >_<

    I hate this time of year – i never get to have much fun with my camera! *pout*

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