The sort of pain that makes you feel sick.

I’m lying on the floor screaming, holding my knee together. If I let go the knee cap will lock and I won’t be able to get it back in on my own.

I need to calm down.

I need to stop screaming. Zack has just gone for his nap and I really can’t let him wake up.

He is freaking out.

He helps me get to a sitting position.

I’m still holding that knee-cap half in place for dear life.

I need to calm down.

I need to relax my muscles so I can pop it back in.

I’m shaking from the shock, I feel like jelly.

He’s called 999.

He didn’t need to, it will be fine once it goes back in.

He’d never seen it happen before.

He never will again.

I manage to calm down after talking to the woman on the other side of the phone.

I explain to her that it happens very rarely from twisting the wrong way.

I was rushing to tidy up before my parents arrived.

I turned to my left to spin round and then I was on the floor.

The muscles are starting to stop spasming around my knee now.

I can feel the knee cap sitting at the cusp, it just needs a last little push to pop it back in.

I knock it back into place.

I say thank you for talking me through it, and apologise for wasting the emergency services’ time.

He helps me up, and I manage to get onto the bed.

My leg feels like jelly. It will pop straight back out if I’m not *really* careful.

I send him out to the chemist to pick up a support.

I think how lucky I am that Zack slept straight through all this.

I try to get more comfortable on the bed, easing a pillow under my leg.

My heart is starting to slow now.

He arrives back with the support and helps me put it on.

I get up and gingerly step on it.

The support is good, it’ll hold.

I send him up to his parents. The tickets have been booked, and he needed it. Besides, my parents will be there soon.

He doesn’t want to go but I make him. If I don’t he’ll resent me, and I’ll feel too guilty.

I hobble into the kitchen, checking to make sure I don’t twist myself.

I get some painkillers and say kiss him goodbye, assuring him I’ll be fine.

I go through to the living room and ease myself down onto the sofa.

Zack wakes up.

————

This happened over 3 years ago, when Zack was only 9 months old. It hasn’t happened since, but there have been times that it’s been close. I dread it happening when I’m on my own. I don’t want to scare my babies. What if I fell on one of them?

Mustn’t think of that now. No point in worrying about something that might *not* happen again.

But if it’s happened before… it will happen again.

It always does.

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7 Comments

  1. October 21, 2009 / 11:04 pm

    Whoah… Scary.

    I remember seeing someone who’s knee cap came out completely. One of my old friends, Matthew. The pain on his face, the need for the ambulance, hearing the sharp screen the paramedics popped it back into place.

    I’m thankful that three years ago it wasn’t too serious. But you’re right. Having it pop out increases the chance it will again. But just because it might doesn’t mean you should live in fear of it.

    *hugs*
    .-= Craig´s last blog ..MAAR’d =-.

  2. October 22, 2009 / 10:30 am

    I try not to. The best way is just to put it to the back of my head. Usually I get more than a little paranoid after it’s just happened, which is natural I guess. lol

  3. October 22, 2009 / 10:32 am

    Yep, all of the above. I don’t know how you deal with it happening so regularly hun, I don’t think I could cope. xx

  4. October 22, 2009 / 9:34 pm

    I’m just glad it hasn’t happened in a long time!

  5. taz
    October 23, 2009 / 6:49 am

    ouch..

    i have big issues with my knee too.. its so horrible..

    fingers crossed it doesnt happen again..

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