This is Me

I recently added an old blog post, from about a year ago, to Jen’s Blog Gems (awesome idea by the way, you should check it out!) and I thought I’d do an updated version, so here goes!

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I’m a happy, wears her heart on her sleeves type of girl (woman? I am 26, so I guess I can’t really say girl anymore can I?). I’m open, I love to talk to friends, and make new ones.

I’m becoming and expert in autism with all the research I have been doing, so I can help Max as much as I can. I now feel confident with him when, if I’m honest, I never really did before.

I know now that I am, I actually, genuinely really am a good mum.

My boys are my life, if I didn’t have them, I wouldn’t be me.

I love photography. I love taking those candid shots where the real love and happiness come through. The real character of the person. I would love to one day be a portrait photographer, who uses natural light and those moments where the people in the photos don’t realise they’re being photographed. I love seeing my friends’ faces light up when I show them photos of their beautiful children.

I belong in the country, not in the city (though I do miss the fast food sometimes, but my waistline is thankful!). Being able to walk for ten minutes and be in the most beautiful woods. To wake at 4am, open the window, and hear the cows and the sheep in the hills, actually SEE all the stars. The air out here is different. Fresher, crisper, more alive. I feel more alive now when I’m outside than I have in years.

I adore music. Singing, dancing, playing the piano. It soothes my soul. Even after the most stressful day I can sit at my piano, play some of my favourites, and I am instantly peaceful. The boys often fall asleep to me playing the piano in the evenings these days. I’m even starting to sing a lot more than I have in a while. It just makes me feel so emotional. Hell, even if I watch any of those flash mob videos on youtube, I actually cry, they’re just so moving!

I am fiery when I need to be, though I avoid confrontation. I won’t waste my energy on something or someone that isn’t worth my time. I don’t see the point.

I love helping others to feel better about themselves (you ARE awesome, yes you!). I get a warm fuzzy feeling when I know I’ve cheered someone up. It makes me happy.

I adore blogging, the community, hell, even the reviews I occasionally get to do. All of it. It’s been three years now since I started, though only the last year has been on this blog. The friends I’ve found, the connections with people all over the world. I only hope I will be able to meet some of you in our lifetimes!

I love my family. My mum, my dad. They are my rocks. I don’t know what I’d do without them. They have been with me through thick and thin, letting me make my own mistakes, and learn from them, while being there to help me get back on my feet. They’re the most amazing grandparents ever. The boys adore them, Zack particularly loves it when he gets to go to theirs after school. My dad, he’s a bit gruff sometimes, but that’s what daddies are like isn’t it? He always has my best interests at heart, and I know he’d do anything for his little (!) girl and his grandsons. My mum, oh my sweet sweet mum. Where would I be without her? My sounding board, my psychologist, my slightly zany knitter-er. I swear, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t have my mum to talk to through it all.

I adore spending time with friends. I feel like I’ve finally found my place in my new town (well, new ish, we moved here just over a year ago now!), with wonderful people who are just so sweet, they’ve made me feel so welcome. I feel so much happier knowing there are people who enjoy my company as I love theirs.

I am not a good gardener. I have the ideas, but oh my, I just cannot seem to put them into practice, no matter how much I try. I get sidetracked!

I do work better with a proper routine, however much I hate the early mornings that go with it. School has helped us all get on much better. I still don’t like housework, but I get it done because I know that I love being able to invite people over at the drop of a hat without being embarrassed!

I can be such a flirt sometimes, I just can’t help it! It’s not because I want to get anywhere with anyone, it’s just my humour! That and lots of sarcasm… 😉

I enjoy my own company. I relish that time once the boys are in bed where I can just do what I want, when I want, with no one else to have to think about. Selfish? Maybe. Mad? I don’t think so!

I truly believe that there is more than work out there than just coincidence. There must be some sort of fate there.How could it be just coincidence, that Veronica and I could randomly come together three years ago when we had both just started blogging, to find ourselves, three years later, discussing autistic spectrum disorders and swapping notes about our little ones?
How could it be just coincidence, that one of my new friends’ little boys is also a Max, AND her daughter a Joy, both my mum’s name and my middle name and we just clicked so well?
I don’t believe that is just coincidence.

I finally believe in myself.

I know can do this.

I have been doing this.

I am doing a good job at being me. Not just the mum, but the everything else as well, everything that makes me who I am.

This is me.

What about you?

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19 Comments

  1. November 9, 2010 / 12:17 am

    As are you sweety. Thanks xx

  2. November 9, 2010 / 12:19 am

    It’s been a difficult couple of years, but I’m finally feeling more me than I ever have before! x

  3. November 9, 2010 / 12:19 am

    How could I forget! Your lovely compliments were the reason I wrote this! x

  4. November 9, 2010 / 1:30 am

    What a gorgeous post from a simply gorgeous woman. You are an incredible mom with a beautiful heart and we will meet one day, I know it.

  5. November 9, 2010 / 6:44 am

    Clapclapclap.

    You are one of my very favourite women, for all these reasons and because you’re just YOU.

  6. November 9, 2010 / 8:30 am

    Thank you sweety! I really hope we can meet one day. 🙂 xxx

  7. November 9, 2010 / 8:31 am

    *hugs* That is exactly why I love you to bits too! Cause you’re just me! Eh, you! You’re just YOU! 😉 xx

  8. November 9, 2010 / 9:03 am

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Marylin aka Softi and Marylin aka Softi, Veronica Foale. Veronica Foale said: RT @softthistle: You want to know a bit more about me? Here you go then… https://bit.ly/a8UEP0 {newblogpost} […]

  9. November 9, 2010 / 9:29 am

    It’s lovely that you’re able to be so open about yourself and you seem to know yourself so well, at nearly twice your age, I still call myself a ‘girl’ sometimes and haven’t a clue who I am. xx

  10. November 9, 2010 / 10:43 am

    And don’t forget the ‘good fun’ and all around ‘good egg’ 😀 Jen

  11. November 9, 2010 / 1:35 pm

    🙂 lovely post! Nice to learn about you!
    I don’t believe in coincidence either! And damn right you’re doing a fab job!

  12. November 9, 2010 / 2:00 pm

    Lovely post. Full of positivity and joy, a real pleasure to read – just like you, a real pleasure to know.

  13. November 9, 2010 / 2:08 pm

    Thanks Livi! There’s no way that these sort of things *just* happen in my mind. 🙂

  14. November 9, 2010 / 2:08 pm

    Aww thanks sweety, as are you! xx

  15. November 9, 2010 / 11:33 pm

    What an excellent post. Isn’t it fab to know who you are and to be comfortable in your own skin. Mich x

  16. November 10, 2010 / 3:59 pm

    It is, and my it’s taken quite some time to get here! 🙂 x

  17. mummyowl
    November 10, 2010 / 11:19 pm

    I knew that happy girl would surface in the end. It’s been a long and winding road with a few deep potholes! I never gave up hope that you would balance your life well eventually. Thank goodness I’m still around to enjoy the view – and be a part of it. Yes – you ARE awesome sweetheart and Zack and Max are the icing on the cake. Love and hugs xxx

  18. November 11, 2010 / 12:21 am

    Thanks Mum! I hope you didn’t cry when you read it… 😉 *hugs* and love xxx

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