We ARE Good Enough!

It’s only been in the last few months, with Max coming on so well after getting a diagnosis of being on the autistic spectrum, and getting advice and help on what to do to help him, that I’ve started to realise that, actually, I’m doing a DAMN good job of raising my boys.

You know what? YOU are doing an amazing job too!

You ARE worth it.

You do more than you realise.

Even those days or weeks when we can’t be bothered keeping on top of the housework.

Or when you guiltily blog while plying the kids with some cookies and cartoons.

Yes, even then, you are being a good mum.

You know why?

Because for us to give our best to our children, we need to feel happy and fulfilled in ourselves.

Of course being a mother defines us to a certain extent, but it doesn’t need to be EVERYTHING we are.

That’s impossible as far as I can tell.

If you lose who you are, then you won’t be happy.

The saying “happy wife, happy life” rings true, even for those of us who are single.

So you know what?

Even if you are having a shit day.

Even if you don’t feel like taking the kids to the park cause it’s so much hassle, and you need a day to just relax.

Even if all you can be bothered doing is the bare minimum for that day.

Just look at all the achievements your little ones are making.

They are learning to walk, talk, stand up for themselves, have opinions, even being cheeky little monkeys.

That’s YOU that’s helped them get there.

It’s YOU who has nurtured them until they were strong enough to survive outside of the womb.

It’s YOU who puts in that extra time to sit and watch In The Night Garden for the umpteenth time because you know how much your little one loves it when you curl up together to watch it before bed.

It’s YOU who is doing an amazing job.

YOU ARE good enough.

YOU ARE amazing.

And don’t you ever let anyone make you think any less, especially not yourself!

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  1. Alethea
    October 13, 2010 / 9:44 pm

    Yip, us Mums are pretty amazing, even if we don’t always feel amazing!

    Fabulous post!

  2. October 13, 2010 / 9:57 pm

    *high fives*

    I absolutely hear you on this one. I think we can have days – even hours – where we feel like NOT being a mother right then. Some people seem to think that makes them a bad mother. I say no. I say it means you just want to be you and it’s easily forgotten in the hullaballoo of motherhood. Getting time to do what you want makes you a better parent, not a worse one.

  3. October 13, 2010 / 10:24 pm

    I’m glad you like it, I see so many people not realising everything they DO for their kids, it’s so sad. I want everyone to realise how amazing they truly are!

  4. October 13, 2010 / 10:26 pm

    SO true, and so many people seem to forget that. It’s like we’re pushed to be the best mother we can be, do all the crafty stuff, make home-made organic everything, sew our own cute clothes for them… I mean if those sort of things are your hobbies, then that’s great, but for those of us that don’t enjoy that sort of thing, it’s not the end of the world! 🙂

  5. October 13, 2010 / 11:44 pm

    Yes! Yes yes yes yes.

    That is all.

  6. October 14, 2010 / 12:02 am

    You are so right, it is not about being perfect, just good enough. Well done you

  7. October 14, 2010 / 3:02 am

    Beautiful post, and yes, you are amazing, as are we all. This was good for me to read today, on a day when I’m feeling not quite enough because I barely have the energy to get through the day, much less give my kids all the attention they deserve. But we moms tend to measure ourselves with unrealistic yard sticks. So thank you. xoxo

  8. October 14, 2010 / 5:56 am

    Amen to that my friend. Spot on.
    It’s like a mantra i can put on my wall and shout to myself when i’ve had too much wine after a bad day.

  9. October 14, 2010 / 7:51 am

    Well done you Flower! I can see that the time on your own has been good for you! Keep it up!

  10. October 14, 2010 / 9:05 am

    I thought you might like it. *hugs* xx

  11. October 14, 2010 / 9:06 am

    And that is *exactly* why I wrote this. I’m glad it helped. You ARE amazing, and don’t you let yourself think otherwise, ok? xx

  12. October 14, 2010 / 9:06 am

    Oh yes, and wine… wine is a *very* good idea. 😉

  13. October 14, 2010 / 9:06 am

    Indeed! I will. 🙂 xx

  14. October 14, 2010 / 9:14 am

    I may print this off and paste it to my fridge.
    It’s so goddamn cool when you reach this point.
    We turn ourselves inside out for our kids and it’s so frighteningly easy to forget who we are.
    You’re so right, and it’s great to reminded of what a fab job we’re doing.

  15. October 14, 2010 / 9:17 am

    It’s so easy to forget how well we’re doing ourselves, when we’re so focused on our little ones. I’m glad you liked it! 🙂 xxx

  16. October 14, 2010 / 1:41 pm

    And YOU! You are awesome too, and don’t you forget it! 🙂 x

  17. October 14, 2010 / 4:21 pm

    I forget this constantly and I get so stressed!

    Love this post. x

  18. October 14, 2010 / 4:39 pm

    I’m glad you liked it! I needed to re-read it to myself today already! lol 🙂 x

  19. October 14, 2010 / 9:38 pm

    I knew there was a reason I liked you 😀 You have it spot on girl and brilliant to see Max doing so well, because of YOU 🙂 Jen

  20. October 15, 2010 / 4:17 am

    Thank you. That’s just what I needed to hear today. It’s been a hard week with my kids – one with Aspergers and ADD and PDD, the other just clingy and emotional as their Dad and I split earlier this year. It’s sooooo hard for them. I am doing my best to guide them through it, but there are times when you have a bad day and/or night and it’s so damn exhausting I want to cry. But then my Aspie son, who isn’t supposed to be comfortable with affection, gives me big cuddles and kisses and says he loves me; or my daughter gives me a home made card full of hugs and kisses and hearts, and it’s all worthwhile. They are awesome kids, and I’m doing my best to be the best mother I can be for them.

  21. October 15, 2010 / 8:16 am

    Oh yes. We’re excellent. Especially you!
    This reminds me of something my husband said shortly after Max was diagnosed. We’d not been thinking too highly of ourselves as parents till then, average, I suppose, with many many failings. But then, we’d been dealing with lots of hard stuff unawares! So, all things considered, he said, we weren’t bad at all.
    Sooo glad to hear about Max doing well!

  22. October 15, 2010 / 10:09 am

    Hehe, thanks sweety! It’s awesome seeing HRH doing so well too, because of YOU! 🙂 xxx

  23. October 15, 2010 / 10:10 am

    And YOU are an awesome mum to them too! Don’t you forget that! *hugs*
    Going through a split is HARD, I had that last year just before Max’s diagnosis. It’s not fun. Lots of love to you. xx

  24. October 15, 2010 / 10:13 am

    That is *so* true! So many of the parents we ‘measure’ ourselves against are those with NT kids, and it’s just not the same is it? I hadn’t thought of it like that!
    NT kids or not though, it’s hard work being a mamma! 🙂

  25. October 15, 2010 / 5:31 pm

    Indeed we are, and we need to remember it more often! 🙂 x

  26. October 16, 2010 / 1:55 am

    This is beautiful Marilyn and I really enjoyed it 🙂


  27. October 16, 2010 / 6:02 pm

    This has reduced me to tears, in a good way, if you see what I mean.

    Thank you.

  28. October 16, 2010 / 9:02 pm

    Aww sweety, you ARE an amazing mum, and person! I can’t wait to be able to see you again! xxxx

  29. Fiona
    October 24, 2010 / 12:26 am

    You are Mrs Awesomeness!
    Thank you for such an uplifting post 🙂

  30. October 24, 2010 / 10:47 am

    I’m glad you liked it sweety. 🙂

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