You Should Be So Lucky

Warning, this may be a bit of a rant…

How DARE you tell your children to “shut up”.

Do you have ANY idea how lucky you are?

To have your beautiful children who can talk and sing and will tell you their wants and needs and thoughts and feelings?

You have NO idea how lucky you are.

NONE.

My son is about the same age as your kids.

He can’t talk.

He can’t tell me if something hurts.

He can’t even tell me his own name.

Your children only want you to love them and pay them attention.

They are beautiful.

They speak so eloquently.

You are SO LUCKY.

And you have no. Fucking. Clue.

How about you walk a day in my shoes?

How about you spend a day with a child who cannot speak??

A child who’s anger at being unable to communicate leads to heatbutting, and screaming for hours.

A mother who tries so hard to understand that sometimes it makes her weep when he’s gone to bed for the night.

See what it’s like to be on the other side of that road we both walk on.

I bet you won’t ever tell your children to “shut up” again.

And if you do? Don’t be surprised if I treat you as rudely as you are treating your children by saying that.

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28 Comments

  1. January 5, 2011 / 12:09 am

    Too right, go you 🙂 I hate seeing that too, or parents swearing at their children, gets me mad!

  2. January 5, 2011 / 12:12 am

    Oh god, don’t get me started at people who swear at their kids… I mean, if it slips out once in a while, it’s excusable, but not when it’s something that’s obviously said all the time!

  3. January 5, 2011 / 12:52 am

    Oh, hun. I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time. When my youngest talks my ear off, which is often, I do indeed have to remind myself to be thankful that he can express his feelings/thoughts/needs.

    A reminder for us all. (((Hugs)))

  4. January 5, 2011 / 3:15 am

    (applauds) Well said my lovely 🙂

  5. January 5, 2011 / 9:16 am

    That must be incredibly difficult for you both. I was so grateful when my daughter started to talk, as being able to express what she wants stops so many potential tantrums. I found the baby stage really difficult, I longed for her to be able to tell me what she wanted. Now she is noisy and talkative and it only bothers me when she decides to scream for fun in a confined space!

  6. Shelagh
    January 5, 2011 / 10:59 am

    I’m at the other end of the spectrum. My daughter, now 16, has ADHD. It is a constant ‘stream of consciousness’, for all her waking moments. Every thought that comes into her head comes out of her mouth. While I see where you’re coming from, when I’ve been distracted from a task for the 100th time to listen to something she ‘just has to tell me’, there are moments where I literally sit with my head in my hands, thinking ‘For the love of God, just shut up for five minutes!’. And being human, I sometimes say it.

  7. January 5, 2011 / 11:17 am

    I couldn’t agree more! To me, telling someone to shut up is like a slap in the face and a horrible affront to their self esteem. Rant away! XXX

  8. January 5, 2011 / 11:44 am

    Ouch. I can’t stand seeing people yell at there kids. It makes me boil inside. Can’t imagine how much more frustrating it is for you 🙁

  9. January 5, 2011 / 2:32 pm

    I know how you feel, I want to rush up to people like that with Smiley and ask them if they would like a child who is still not talking after 14 years ((hugs))

  10. January 5, 2011 / 3:14 pm

    Indeed! I have to stop myself sometimes from saying it to Zack, but it’s never anything I’d say *all* the time, which is what I was getting at!

  11. January 5, 2011 / 3:14 pm

    Right back at ya honey. xx

  12. January 5, 2011 / 3:15 pm

    Oh I remember the relief with my older son when he started chatting away. It was just so much easier! I completely took it for granted until I had Max though… I had no idea how lucky I had it with Zack!

  13. January 5, 2011 / 3:21 pm

    Everyone has their moments. There are times I need to bite my tongue to say the same to Zack. I was more getting at those with neurotypical kids, who say things like that and worse to their kids on a regular basis, know what I mean?

  14. January 5, 2011 / 3:22 pm

    Exactly! I wouldn’t tell anyone to shut up. Or at least not without apologising afterwards if I’d been at the end of my tether!

  15. January 5, 2011 / 3:24 pm

    Exactly! So many people are blissfully ignorant to just how lucky they are. They have *no* idea!

  16. January 5, 2011 / 3:33 pm

    *exactly* they have no idea how lucky they are… it’s maddening!

  17. January 5, 2011 / 3:45 pm

    For some reason you got flagged as spam! Silly Akismet! >_< x

  18. January 5, 2011 / 3:57 pm

    *stands up and applauds loudly*
    Well said and excellent reminder for us all when we think we are having a hard day. I can’t bear adults who have no respect for the very children ‘they’ created. I heard a woman tell her 4 year old to “shut the fuck up” last year and it made me sick.

  19. January 5, 2011 / 7:58 pm

    It seems I’m definitely not the only one who cringes when she hears these things then! 🙂 x

  20. January 5, 2011 / 9:57 pm

    I don’t think anyone can fully appreciated how challenging it is for you unless they are or have been in the same situation. I certainly can’t. I would say though that you cope with a lot and are so positive, it is inevitable that you feel frustration sometimes. It’s also ok to vent when you do!

  21. January 5, 2011 / 11:48 pm

    much love to you – it’s easy to forget how lucky we are sometimes

  22. January 6, 2011 / 8:19 am

    I’m sitting here at my laptop. Stupidly trying to clear items out of my reader while four children ranging in age from 2 to 5 run around with toy aeroplanes, singing, talking, shouting, asking me the same question over and over and over. I can feel my anger starting to boil up. I’m short tempered at the best of times and more so when I know that I’m in the wrong. As I am now. I know that I shouldn’t be sitting at the laptop, that I should let the posts that I haven’t commented on yet just sit for a few more hours – no-one will mind. I’m on the verge of asking them to keep the noise down.

    And then I read your post.

    And I’m so, so sorry. I totally take the noise that surrounds me for granted. I forget how lucky I am that yes, I look after 4 children and it’s noisy and chaotic and frustrating but that if any of them needs anything – they can just ask. They won’t always get what they want and they do throw tantrums and they can be bloody unreasonable at times, but we can communicate.

    I cannot imagine what it would be like to walk a day in your shoes. I only know that you are one of the most incredible people that I know and that I am priviledged that you choose to share your story and some of your life with me.

    ((((hugs)))) and *surreptitiously wipes a tear or two away*

  23. January 6, 2011 / 11:46 am

    Thanks sweety. 🙂 x

  24. January 6, 2011 / 11:47 am

    Ok now you’ve got me crying too! *hugs* I am so glad I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you sweety! xx

  25. January 7, 2011 / 12:50 am

    *big hugs* I can’t begin to imagine how hard it is for you. Sending you lots of love though

  26. January 7, 2011 / 9:56 am

    Thanks honey. *hugs* right back at ya. 🙂

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