Ah being a single parent… it’s a ride by the seat of your pants kind of rollercoaster, but I’ve really come to love it. I was watching some YouTube videos earlier today and came across one about single parenting by the lovely Amy Being Mum, which basically gave me inspiration for this post… thanks Amy!
When I had my boys, I was young and naive, and in love, married to someone working at a bank. I never for one minute thought I’d end up a single mum of two surviving on benefits by the age of 25, but a wandering eye on his part made it inevitable. Hindsight… it’s always 20/20. Here are some reasons I enjoy being a single mama.
You get to decide the rules.
There’s no to-ing and fro-ing between parents, no playing one off the other, and it’s a lot easier to be in charge when you’re the only one enforcing the rules. Of course this can be tedious at times as you have to be the bad cop, but it is possible to get the balance right, and have fun being the good cop too. At the end of the day there are no double standards in our home, and I think this is particularly helpful for Max as he knows exactly what to expect.
At the end of the day, you look at your kids growing up and know YOU did that, all by yourself.
Honestly as the boys have grown up and are becoming such great kids, I am safe in the knowledge that it’s all down to me. They see their dad for a few days each school holiday and that’s about it, so although it’s draining at times, and yes, they can be annoying gits occasionally* (*regularly), I know that I’m the reason they are as awesome as they are. Maybe slightly too much like their mother though… especially with the wit and banter. Whoops!
You will have the most amazing bonds with your children as they grow up because they will come to realise just how much you do for them.
As the boys are getting older (12 and 10 now), they’re becoming more aware of how much I do for them. They have friends who are in two-parent households and see how different it can be. Zack particularly has become quite protective of me as well as his little brother as he feels that it’s partly his responsibility to help me out when I’m not well. Don’t get me wrong – being a single parent when they’re young and you’re unwell is really crap, but as they get older they genuinely want to help you out when they see you struggling. I mean, not always, but they’re more likely to. Either way, the bond between you and your children will be stronger even purely because you’re no longer constantly stressed out from being with a partner that doesn’t match your personality, meaning you’ll be more relaxed and amiable as a result!
That’s just three points off the top of my head!
Are you, or have you been a single parent? Maybe you’re feeling like you might be about to become one. Either way I hope this has given you a bit of relief to know that it’s not always hard. As time goes on you’ll become stronger than you ever thought possible, and amazed at how well you’ve done.