Over the years I’ve had my fair share of debbie downers as friends – you know the kind, they suck any positivity from you with their constant criticisms, complaining, ranting, and “why me” attitudes.
Whether it’s friends, co-workers, or even family, if you’re surrounded by negativity every day it’s gonna drag you down. There are instances where you can distance yourself from these people, but then there’s always the workplace or family politics – our lives are often so intertwined with these people that it’s impossible to just get rid like some suggest. That would still be my first port of call if possible, but in case it’s not, here are five ways to surround yourself with positivity to ensure these people don’t end up rubbing off on you.
1- Social media
Do you find yourself rolling your eyes at Carrie’s latest vaguebooking, or Steve’s constant barrage of political debates (in all caps no less)? The unfollow option is your friend. You can stay friends with these people so as not to cause any drama (because lets be honest, there’s almost always drama when that happens with this type isn’t there?), and just choose to unfollow them so they won’t constantly show up in your newsfeed.
Here’s a handy link that explains how to unfollow someone on Facebook: click here.
As for the others (Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, Snapchat), just unfollow and block if you need to.
Remember your social media accounts are YOUR accounts – you can curate them to see only what YOU want to. Anyone who has a problem with that, well… it’s *their* problem, not yours.
2- Start a Gratitude Journal
Hands down the best way I’ve found to change my mindset from negative to positive is by ending the day writing down three little things you’re grateful for from the day. Even if those are as simple as “I’m still alive”, it matters. You’ll find yourself starting to really think about the positives that have happened during your day, so you’ll begin to notice them more.
All it takes is like two minutes to write down the top three things of the day you’re most grateful for. Trust me on this one, it works!
3- Don’t involve yourself in others’ drama.
Remember this quote:
“Not my circus, not my monkeys”
If someone is complaining about something in their life, just nod and agree that it must be tough, but don’t let yourself get emotionally invested. Be mindful that although this may be their normal, it doesn’t have to be yours too. Try to change the subject if it’s possible. If not? Be there for that person and then when you leave them remind yourself: “Not my circus, not my monkeys”.
4- Find people to befriend who are also trying to better themselves
Having a support network of friends who are there for you and are looking forwards rather than back are SO important to have in your life. Whether it’s someone who lives close by, or hundreds of miles apart, with the internet at our fingertips it’s so easy to keep in touch with people and form strong bonds.
I’m extremely lucky to have fantastic friends both in real life and online (which is so also real life btw) who get me, who cheer each other on, who fix each others’ crowns. We support each other whole heartedly, pick each other up and cheer on our friends to the point of being completely extra, but hell, if your besties aren’t gonna bring out the unicorn glitter when you’ve done something amazing, be it pass your driving test or get out of freaking bed, then you need to find your people, cause they aren’t.
5- Remember you get a fresh start whenever YOU decide you want one.
You don’t need to wait till the new year/next month/ next Monday to have a fresh start – YOU get to decide when to invite more positivity into your life. At the end of the day, it’s your mindset that you’re changing. That doesn’t depend on a schedule or specific dates, all it depends on is you reminding yourself of the good in your life.
So don’t wait. Stop putting it off. At least three of these points you can implement today… right now in fact.
No journey is without it’s delays, but you are in charge of when you set off, so get going!